There are all these rules when you are behind the wheel that I don’t really understand. Lawmakers feel they can prevent wrecks by incorporating all these policies for motorists, but in realilty, most are equivalent of 4th grade teachers banning whatever became popular in school. Let’s begin:

• Several states have gotten on their high horse and outlawed the use of cell phones while driving. Seriously? It’s not that dangerous. I can even text and drive, but I could see an argument against that. Sure there are people who can’t handle it, but there are also people who can’t walk and chew gum at the same time, but the last time I checked it’s still legal to munch on gum and perform any activity you please.

  Lets say there was a massive catastrophe. Lets say some schuck operating a piano lift was chewing gum and out of uncoordination, dropped the piano on a crowd of people killing 2 and injuring 5 on the streets of New York. Would this justify banning chewing gum and doing manual labor?

  It’s not illegal for one armed man to talk to his passenger while driving. What’s the difference?


• It’s illegal to wear headphones while driving. Why? What sounds are so important that you have to hear in order to drive safely? Amublances? You know what I think about that. Police cars? I think you’ll know if you are being pulled over. Most policemen don’t even blast their siren for routine speeding tickets anymore anyway.

  I vividly remember several cases of playing outside as a kid and hearing some punk teenager’s radio blasting as he drove by on the highway 1000 feet away. There’s no way he could hear himself think, much less a horn honk from the car behind him…yet…that’s legal.

  It’s legal for deaf people to drive. What’s the difference?


• Did you know you have to wear shoes when driving? Barefoot driving will get you a ticket. This one may be the best of them all. Who gives a shit if you’re barefoot? If anything, you would think it would enhance your driving skill by giving you a better feel of the gas and brake pedal. It’s like making quarterback wear a glove on his throwing hand in football. It just makes no sense.

  The only time I’ve ever felt a bit unsure of my driving skill when it comes to pedal sensitivity was when I wore cleats. The extra few inches between my foot and the pedal kinda threw off, but surprisingly, I figured out.

  It’s legal for a man stricken with frostbite on his foot to drive. What’s the difference?

This entry was posted on Friday, September 18th, 2009 at 11:39 pm and is filed under Lemme Tell Ya, Peeves. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can skip to the end and leave a response. Pinging is currently not allowed.